Irresistible Force, Meet Immovable Object
by Mediancat
Summary: An interrogation begins. You might want to sell tickets.
1. Chapter 1

The crossover show was created by James Duff, the Buffy character by Joss Whedon.

X X X X X

She sat in the interrogation room, waiting for whatever detective was going to ask her questions.

It was ridiculous, really. A junior slayer, Lisa Perez, showed up at one of their training academies with what looked like all the paperwork in order; a call to the young woman's parents supposedly confirmed this.

The people on the other end had not been the slayer's parents.

Who were very upset when they found out their 15-year old daughter had run away to Baltimore, MD, all the way from Los Angeles.

Who were even more upset when said daughter was in the hospital with a broken hand when they showed up to collect her. (Rookie mistake; Lisa had tried to punch a Petrallo demon, which had stone-like skin.)

Even with the paperwork partly mollifying them, the LA Police insisted that someone come back to answer questions. She'd been elected, and had sternly lectured Lisa all the way back.

The situation had turned from ridiculous to tragic when, hours after they landed in LA, Lisa's parents had been killed and Lisa had vanished. That left the police with no one to interrogate but her, and while she could have vanished, she was confident in her ability to bluff her way past anyone.

The door opened. An unimposing woman, blonde, early '40s, came in and sat down. "Ms. Rosenberg?" she said. "Thanks for coming in. I hope we can get this cleared up soon. I'm Deputy Chief Brenda Lee Johnson."

X X X X X

There may be those of you out there who are unfamiliar with the crossover. If so, I'm sorry, because you're missing out on one of the best shows on television, possibly the best now that Veronica Mars has been cancelled:

The Closer.

Hope this clears things up.


	2. Collision Imminent

Author's note: Mostly dialogue, this part. Any updates to this will be wildly irregular. This is not a "Season 8" fic. I go by the theory that if it didn't happen in the series, it didn't happen. "Season 8" is just fanfic written and directed by the guy who came up with the original idea. Interesting, entertaining, but not canonical.

X X X X X

"Ms. Rosenberg, you work for the Academy for Complete Women?"

"Yes, that's right."

'What do you do there?"

"I teach."

"What subject?"

"History."

"And they sent you to recruit Lisa Perez why? Please walk me through it, if you don't mind."

"Are you asking why they sent me, or why we recruited Lisa Perez?"

"Whatever you feel comfortable answering."

"If I'd realized this was about my comfort, I would have brought a cushion. These chairs aren' very comfortable."

"Yes, I know. I sit in them myself. About Lisa Perez, Ms. Rosenberg, if you would?"

"She fit our criteria. And as for why they sent me, it just happened to be convenient. We all do what we can. Some days you can find our Dean answering the front desk. Other days I might be teaching self-defense instead of our regular teacher. And believe you me, it's not easy teaching something when you know more theory than your students but they can kick your butt in practice. And they do. Kick my butt, I mean. Anyway, I think I've made my point."

"Yes, thank you. Now, if I could go back: You say Lisa Perez fit your criteria?"

"Yes."

"What criteria would those be? Because I've checked her grades and she was a C student with a career history of getting into trouble."

"Lisa fit our criteria. We're not just an academic institution, Chief Johnson. She's smart and her history of disciplinary problems is mostly a case of teachers not being able to deal with someone who doesn't fit into their neat little boxes. And she got bad grades because she was bored. We look beyond the obvious."

"Well, so do I. And what is beyond the obvious is that your school is not what it pretends to be."

"Oh really? What are we then?"

"I don't know. But I intend to find out."

"That sounds suspiciously threatening."

"I don't make threats, Ms. Rosenberg."

"Then let me guess. You make promises? No, don't answer. But answer me this, please. What the hell do your questions have to do with finding either Lisa or whoever killed her parents?"

X X X X X

Assistant Chief Will Pope walked into the surveillance area, and was surprised to find it filled. "Isn't there a pair of murders you should be solving? Gabriel and Tao seem to be doing all the work."

"Yeah," Detective Provenza said, not moving.

"Well?" Pope said with a voice of authority.

Detective Flynn said, "You've got to see this, Chief. Really."

"What?" Pope looked at the monitors again. "Willow Rosenberg. I saw her on the way in. What's so fascinating?"

"Watch and learn," Provenza said.

Pope watched.

And learned. 


End file.
